A Week: Seventeen
by K3RR W33ZY
Summary: When Cartman casts a spell that turns the boys seventeen in order to get Call of Duty: Black Ops, they have to attend Park County High. How do they handle it?  NEED LOTS OF OCS.


Cartman stormed out of the toy store with a look of annoyance and a black thunder cloud looming over his face. He had his arms tightly crossed against his chubby chest and wandered over to where Stan, Kyle, and Kenny stood waiting on the sidewalk eagerly.

"It was just as I had feared," Cartman said dramatically with his eyes open wide. "They don't sell Call of Duty: Black Ops to any asshole under seventeen."

"Damn it dude!" was the chorus as Kyle threw his hat on the ground in rage.

"But I need to play that game dude!" Kenny sighed from under his parka. The group sighed collectively and began there way down the street and back to Stan's house. The sky was gray to reflect their down mood as they all shuffled into the house and sat on the couch.

"I guess we could just play Okama Game Sphere." Stan suggested, leaning forward to flick the game on. Cartman reached down and put a hand on his shoulder.

"It's no use Stan, we are all depressed and nothing will bring us forth from this feeling of wishing death would simply fall upon us." the fat kid sat back and the couch creaked in response.

A moment of silence passed over the four boys as they sat idly on the floor with depressed looks painted on their youthful faces. Shelly had come in a few times saying, "What's wrong with you turds?" but no one had bothered to answer. The air was stagnant with depression and dreams of hearing gun fire rather than a steady and pressing silence. That is, until a look of manic realization cast over Cartman's face.

"Hey Jew," Cartman whispered with excitement.

"What Fatass?" Kyle said, too upset to get angry at Cartman's Anti-Semitist remarks.

"Aren't your parents in Jerusalem on vacation, for like, a week?" Cartman pressed further, that scary smile growing even further on his face. Kenny observed him with a raised eyebrow.

"Actually they're in Toledo visiting my grandma," Kyle corrected while gritting his teeth. "But I do have Becky there if you were planning on using my house as a meth lab again Cartman." Becky was Kyle's babysitter who was constantly stoned on his couch and watching Pineapple Express. Whenever it ended she would throw a blunt at the TV and then rewind it grumpily. The girl was a mess and not much of a threat, which was perfect for Cartman's plan.

"Perfect. Gentleman, to the Broflovski household."

Cartman clicked the mouse several times and murmured "Rock Me Sexy Jesus" under his breath as he found what he was looking for on Kyle's computer. The other three boys were looming over his shoulder with curious glances on their faces.

"What are you looking for Cartman?" Stan asked as Cartman scrolled to the bottom of a page with the title, Spells for the Novice Mage. "This looks like some bullshit that you would see on that stupid show Ghost Adventures."

"Alright Kyle sit on the floor and don't move. This will be really quick and if you're lucky…painless." Cartman commanded, taking his Willikins Bear backpack off of his shoulders and pulling out mysterious vials, candles, and chalk. Kyle gulped and Stan and Kenny watched with astonished looks on their faces.

"What the hell are you doing Fatass?" Kenny exclaimed beneath his parka and Cartman nonchalantly examined a vial with the label 'Basilisk Blood'.

"I am going to age Kyle so that is seventeen and he can get us Call of Duty: Black Ops. Then once the game has been retrieved from the toy store I will immediately turn him back and we can all totally kick some Russian ass!" Cartman cackled as he diligently drew a red circle on the carpet around Kyle.

"Why did you need to do it at my house then?" Kyle asked hesitantly, not sure if he wanted to succumb to Cartman's powers; no matter how magical. He would probably do it, for Black Ops, but he didn't want to be a seventeen year old forever. He'd seen the high school seniors after school and they were all total assholes.

"In case something goes wrong. I'm not perfect Jew." Cartman cleared his throat and before Kyle, Stan, or Kenny could further retort Cartman shouted the magic words. "KURT RUSSEL KISS MY ASS."

A violent whoosh exploded throughout the room like a raging wind and a reddish pink cloud of smoke clogged the room. The four boys were sent to the floor by the velocity of the explosion and they all coughed raggedly. Neither could see the others and they searched for each other with their eyes wide open and blinking haphazardly.

"Kyle?" Cough.

"Stan?" Cough Cough.

"Kenny?" Cough.

"Fatass?" Cough. Cough.

Stan latched onto Kenny's leg in the dust left by the explosion. Kenny wearily looked over at Stan and gave him a half assed smile. Stan returned it, happy to see Kenny hadn't died for once.

Stan fought his way a few feet further and closed his hand around Cartman's rotund ankle. "Hey Fatass." Stan coughed to Cartman who turned and flipped him off. So Cartman was okay too, not so much a relief as a burden but whatever. Stan needed to find the subject of this chaos. Where was his super best friend?

As if in response a deep cough resonated from the core of the dust cloud. "Kyle?" came the three voices of the other boys.

"I'm alright guys." came the deep voice none of them were used to hearing. Stan shook his head and remembered that Kyle was seventeen before freaking out.

"You alright dude?" Kenny crawled over to Kyle. What he saw made his heart drop.

Kyle was about four feet taller than he'd been just five minutes ago. His jacket and pants were too short and tight on his elongated frame and a flat pale stomach stuck out from under the familiar orange jacket. His hat had fallen off and his shaggy red hair lay over his red shocked face. "You're tall dude." Kenny stated the obvious.

It was far into the night and the three boys and the awkwardly tall and older Kyle lay slumped on the couch after a long night of Call of Duty. Their plan had been successful and content grins rested on each boys tired and sallow face.

"Can you change me back now Fatass?" Kyle said tiredly.

"Sure." Cartman rolled off the couch and ascended upstairs to draw a blue chalk circle on the floor. Kyle sat in the middle and Cartman sprinkled pink sparkles all over him before glancing at the computer and saying the spell with tired enthusiasm. "KURT RUSSEL LICK MY BALLS."

A moment of shocked silence, nothing happened.

"Dude what the hell?"

"I don't know Jew. Let me check the logistics of the other spell and see what's going on…Oh wait…Shit guys." Cartman stuttered as his eyes feverishly scanned the page entailing the effects of the aging spell. The three boys crowded around the fat boy and read along with him, each face sinking, especially Kyle's.

"We have to wait a week before changing back? But why?" Kyle sighed.

"Then we would be abusing the space-time continuum and the natural law would change you back anyway Jew calm down." Cartman sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "It will all work out."

"But what about school tomorrow?" Stan said, nervously twiddling his thumbs and giving a worried glance in Kyle's direction. "If he doesn't go to school he'll be in so much shit. But, he can't go to elementary school cause they'll kick him out and call him a rapist or something."

"He's right." Kenny agreed, nodding his head slowly. "He'll have to go to high school then."

"I don't want to go by myself guys." Kyle shrieked in hysterics, shaking Kenny by the shoulders roughly. "Those high school kids would eat me alive and that building is huge. I'll probably get lost right away!"

Stan looked at Kyle with a caring and compassionate glance before turning to Cartman with an imperious expression. "Make us seventeen too Fatass. We have to go with Kyle." Kyle smiled appreciatively at his super best friend who returned the look.

"Whatever you say faggot. Stan…Kenny…get your ass in the red circle. Let's do this bitch."

Echoes of footsteps echoed off of the sterile white walls of the high school as the four friends hesitantly made their way to their homeroom. They hadn't known what to make of the paper known as their schedule but they decided to follow it and try to assimilate to the climate of this jungle. They wandered into the room hoping they had found the right one. A teacher looked up to acknowledge them before staring back down at the magazine open on his desk. Kenny exchanged looks with Kyle and they all took a group of four desks in the middle of the room.

"Are you new?" asked a girl with strawberry blonde layered hair and nose stud. Kyle looked at her and cleared his throat nervously before answering.

"Yeah…I moved here from…"come on Kyle think! The first thing that came to mind was where his parents were. He was scared and honestly missed them more than anything. "Toledo."

"Ohio? Sweetness. I'm Koda, what's your guys' names?" she examined Stan, Kenny, and Cartman with curious glances.

"Stan."

"Kenny."

"Cartman."

"Nice to meet you guys. Welcome to Park County High, I guarantee you'll hate it here."

**Thanks for reading! Alright here's the OC form, but first, a few rules cause I'm a bitch for them.**

**Rule One: There are no pre-established pairings, but yes you can have crushes on anyone. It doesn't have to be Kyle, Stan, Kenny, or Cartman, I can age other characters by any means (:**

**Rule Two: Don't be too detailed about your characters physical or personality description. Chances are I won't use everything you put and then we'd just be wasting each others' time.**

**Rule Three: If you don't mind could some people submit guy OC's too? I need some new friends for the guys.**

**Anyway that's all I can say. Here's the form.**

**Name;**

**Age;**

**Gender;**

**Hair; **

**Eyes;**

**Outfit;**

**Personality;**

**Hobbies;**

**Siblings?;**

**Friends; **

**Enemies;**

**Crushes;**

**Background;**

**Extra;**

**HAVE FUN. I need a lot of OC's so no worries. J**


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